International Women's Day

Have you heard of International Women's Day? If you're reading this from the Seattle, I don't think you have, or maybe it's just one of the niche days I've never noticed, like National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day or National Boss's Day. I'm now embarrassed to list the day with something honoring a suit or a sandwich, because on March 8th, next Tuesday, the 100th anniversary of the first such day, much of the world will honor how hard women have fought and how much, still, we have yet to achieve to bring attitudes and institutions into a shared, unsneering dignity for women and men together.

Women's Day started in the boom years of industrialization and Socialism and suffrage movements. The United Nations describes it this way: "International Women's Day is the story of ordinary women as makers of history; it is rooted in the centuries-old struggle of women to participate in society on an equal footing with men." In many countries, the day retains a political call to action; in other countries, it's like Mother's Day and Valentine's Day and women get flowers and chocolate and a you're the best dear.

At Dráva Völgye Középiskola, the men prepared a special evening for the women on Friday, a few days in advance of the official Nemzetközi Nőnap. The men made and served a dinner; provided flowers, wine and entertainment; cleaned up; and organized a dance. Ordinarily, all the people working in kitchen and scouring the school are women. This is the kind of event that says, Thank you, ladies; next year you can have another evening off.

I was part of the entertainment, and didn't cook, but I ate what the chefs below served with pleasure, the fresh deer stew especially.

Chivalry, courtly behavior, is alive in Hungary, though I have been told me it's not what it was. Still, I see signs of gallantry everywhere, as men allow others first taste or free entry or a best seat before they themselves eat or pass through a door or speak. At the bus stop in the morning, the girls' teacher, Érzsebet, grabs her son by the jacket if he tries to board the bus before our girls. Meanwhile, without such training, I get flummoxed, at in-swinging doors for example, sometimes preceding others so I might hold the door and feeling itchy for rushing first; sometimes slipping half in, half out and bearing all the door's weight near the hinge with the back of my aching hand. 

I've also noticed that men will walk across the room to shake each others' hands in greeting, leaving women alone. On special occasions or from a long absence, men may give women a double-cheek kiss, or women may "pusz" each other, but on an ordinary day, women welcome others with verbal greetings only. Language indicates a greeting of women that was: "Csókolom" means I kiss you. Children say it to adults, adults say it to elders, and sometimes, men -- usually older men -- say it to women. "Csókolom," short for "kézet csókolom,"  means I kiss your hand. And that, in my book, is courtly behavior.

So, the cafeteria was cleared out for our dinner and performance.

The show was based on a poem called "Pázmán Lovag," by Arany János. Perhaps you will see the irony, perhaps you'll just enjoy the story, which is described on a Wikipedia entry about Strauss here: Pázmán Ritter, believes his wife is having sex with another man, locks her in the house, goes to the king for redress, sees a man he believes responsible and challenges him, loses his joust and teeth the next day, discovers the victor to be the king himself, is given property for every tooth lost, and goes back to his wife's loving arms with gifts. 

I got to play the guitar and accompany a Hungarian fiddle. I was also able to prepare the joust, which you see and hear in the action-packed video below (I'm in white).

To see the whole play, and also, I believe, the basis for many of our stage directions, you can see this cartoon (low culture hyperlink). To hear Johann Strauss's opera, try this (high culture hyperlink).

So, was the knight's wife sleeping with someone else? Does it matter when finally it buys the king's patronage? Ah, thank you again, women. Happy Woman Day! I unlock you.

On Tuesday, March 8th, reach for a world where all people are safe, healthy, trusted, able, fulfilled, and loved for their own sake and human dignity.