Graduation

I'm not totally equipped to write about graduation yet; but the school leavers have completed their classes for the year and will spend the next few months preparing for six three-hour exams and they have walked, already, before the tears of their families, and they have said goodbyes, and will not gather again until they have a reunion. I'm not ready to write about this because one class said goodbye and another did not.

Students here have a beautiful parting ritual with their teachers, and I want to find a way to replicate it back home, though having only 10 or so shared teachers living close by makes it easier to do here than in a setting where students each have different teachers that criss-cross their high school careers: here, they gather in horse-drawn wagons and serenade their instructors, coming inside for a snack before departing for the next loud stop. 12 Gymnasium came and sang at the top of their lungs, and it filled me. I sang back and invited them inside. A couple of the girls looked exhausted, and no wonder: they began singing at 3 or 4 o'clock and went past midnight. Alcohol no doubt fueled the giddy energy of classmates. Stephanie just served them Fanta. But I wasn't judging at the moment; I was just glad to be a part of it.

When 12 Drama did not do the same, I wrote them a goodbye letter, hinting that I wanted some kind of closure. The next day, school leavers visited classrooms and lip-sticked faces or sprayed shaving or whipping cream into hair and then performed skits or roasts on an outdoor stage. I was shy with 12 Drama, and didn't approach them when I had the chance. Later, they would graduate. 

Half the town seemed to fill our sports hall. Families crowded the floor before the ceremony, giving lush bouquets of flowers to each school leaver, creating aisles of flower upon flower. Students stood through the ceremony, through speeches, songs, and awards. In the pride of the moment, and the grief, I was of course especially sensitive to the mighty Himnusz and Szózat, so proud and sad in themselves, so full of goodbye.

At the end of the year every year I feel an awkwardness. I admit that I expect letters and parting gifts and big generous smiles at commencement, and that then, after the graduation ceremony, I wander around feeling awed but also lonely, even though I usually get a good dose of the honor and fondness I seek.

This weekend, the ceremony was over and suddenly students were gone.